Sober Thoughts from Dry February
This year during the month of January I heard about the Canadian Cancer Foundation’s “Dry Feb” and thought I would give it a try. They give you the option of completing the whole month or just a portion of it, but I like 30 day challenges so I started two days early. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt compelled to complete a dry challenge before but alcohol had crept into my life during quarantine and my consumption of it was becoming too frequent for me to feel good about. During the month I had a few learnings and want to share my experience for those of you who are curious about your own relationship with alcohol or who are considering taking a break.
To begin, I want to share that there is alcoholism on one side of my family and this has always been at the back of my mind, prompting me to be conscious around the amount of and frequency at which I consume alcohol. I have relatives and other people in my life who are sober, either as former alcoholics or because they prefer life without it. I’m sure you know a few as well. Like any mind-altering substance, alcohol can be used and enjoyed by some, whereas others become dependent on it. Alcohol is a drug and it does not enhance our health. It can enhance our mood and some of us, including myself, enjoy the experience of drinking it. I have friends who love trying different beers from local breweries and others who enjoy mixing up cocktails to share with others. Alcohol can play a role in our lives if we are able to consume it in a way that does not negatively impact our lifestyle, but I think it’s important that we are honest with ourselves about how it is affecting us overall and what its use is in our lives.
At some point during spring 2020, I went to one of the nearby liquor stores and asked the two employees how business has been. They told me it’s been busy like it is during the winter holidays; clearly many of us were consuming more alcohol than we typically do. Since the beginning of the global pandemic, I went through phases with alcohol consumption, mostly having drinks with my neighbours but sometimes having a drink while writing because I thought it helped with creativity. I also love the experience of trying a new wine. When winter hit, I found myself drinking more frequently and not just because I hate winter in Calgary. During January, I realized it had became a habit to have a drink or two at night most nights of the week. I knew this wasn’t a positive habit but of course found comfort, entertainment and enjoyment in drinking. Because I’m very conscious of my alcohol consumption, I realized this was not a habit I wanted to continue and decided to take on the Dry Feb challenge.
So how did it go? During the first couple of weeks, I found myself missing being able to drink. I dug into this emotion a bit deeper and realized it wasn’t necessarily the mind-altering effect of alcohol that I missed, but the experience of it. I know I’ve already touched on this but I really enjoy opening up a new (to me) bottle of wine, smelling it, tasting it, and consuming it, sometimes paired with food to see how the different flavour components change. I have even thought about doing wine reviews and sharing them on my website; I took photos and some notes over the past year so might still do it. My love of wine tasting started during my first trip to Australia when I did a wine tour in the Hunter Valley and has likely continued due to a combination of nostalgia, fun, and the pleasure I get through taste (my love of food is related). I find the buzz I get to be a lovely little bonus! When I have a poor sleep or wake up not feeling my best or eat a bunch of food because that desire has been triggered by drinking? Then it sucks.
At some point I stopped missing it. I mean other than when I came across a bottle of La Marca’s new Rosé Prosecco being advertised and got so excited about it that I shared the photo with two of my closest friends and kind of whimpered about not being able to try it yet. Yet here I am, 4 days over my goal of 30 days and I’m still going with no alcohol. I didn’t immediately turn back to drinking as soon as I could, though I do think I’ll have some sparkling rosé to celebrate if I get the news I’m waiting for this week. Or maybe I’ll choose not to, I don’t know yet.
During the 30 days, I thought about the role I want alcohol to play in my life. I realize that I am lucky in the fact that I have a choice here and am not needing to remove it due to an addiction. I’m not at a point where I feel the need or desire to give it up completely. I’m thinking that I want to reserve alcohol for celebrations, social time with friends, and vacations, which is what I did before the pandemic and when I had a regular job. I am completely aware that I use (abuse?) food as a way to cope with various emotions and think I may have done this a bit with alcohol. I feel grateful that I am less prone to overdo it with alcohol because I know it’s a drug and addictive and hangovers feel like death to me. I am now more cognizant of how my body and mind feel better when I drink less frequently. The same is true when it comes to sugar, but that’s an even bigger challenge for me because it’s easily accessible and more socially acceptable to consume. Perhaps it’s time to take a break from sugar next?
What are your thoughts about alcohol? How often do you drink it? Do you think you could learn something by taking a break from it for a set period of time? If you feel comfortable sharing, add your thoughts in the comment section.
Also, if you want to donate to donate to the Canadian Cancer Society, click here for my personal Dry Feb challenge page! Thank you :)